Before My Actual Heart Breaks

This novel tells the story of Mary Rattigan, a woman reflecting on her past and seeking the love she deserves after years of hardship.

In Before My Actual Heart Breaks, Mary Rattigan reflects on her tumultuous life journey from a hopeful girl in troubled Northern Ireland to a weary mother of five. As a Catholic girl with a challenging family dynamic, she dreams of escaping her circumstances and finding happiness. Her best friend, Lizzie Magee, often reminds her that everyone wishes they could revisit their youth and make different choices. Yet, life has a way of leading us down unexpected paths, and for Mary, the road has been anything but smooth.

Years have passed since Mary first envisioned a life of freedom and joy. Instead, she finds herself grappling with the weight of her responsibilities and the remnants of a life filled with chaos and loss. The trauma of her early years lingers, and while the violence of her youth has subsided, the emotional scars remain. With each passing year, she has learned hard lessons about love, sacrifice, and the importance of self-worth. Now, as she navigates the complexities of her current situation, she must confront her past and the choices that have shaped her present.

As Mary stands at a crossroads, she must decide whether to muster the courage to seek the love and happiness she has long denied herself. Before My Actual Heart Breaks is a poignant tale of resilience, friendship, and the quest for personal redemption, inviting readers to reflect on their own journeys and the power of hope in the face of adversity.