A Van of One's Own

In her fifties, Biddy Wells buys an ancient campervan and sets off on a solo road trip, leaving her partner, home and job behind her. Her plan is to drive through France and Spain to Portugal, where she will spend several months travelling from place to place. With no fixed itinerary, she will simply follow her intuition, the quiet inner voice from which she feels so disconnected. She has recovered from a breakdown some years earlier, but she remains anxious and uneasy in her skin. Immersed in the roles of day-to-day life, she feels she no longer knows who she is. So this adventure is many things: an escape from the daily round, time to be alone, a pilgrimage to a country that calls to her, and, hopefully, a journey back to the Self. On her way, she keeps a journal that forms the core of this memoir. Perhaps because of the Durrellesque/A Year in Provence-type cover, I was expecting a light tale of travels abroad, full of scenic descriptions and witty anecdotes, as the traveller responds to new places and people along the way. But the focus here, particularly initially, is on the author’s internal landscape. This journey is a huge undertaking for Biddy Wells, and she is honest about feeling isolated, awkward travelling alone, muddled, flustered, sad. To begin with, it’s a downbeat narrative, with situations that might have been funny – like trying to shop for chemical fluid for a portable toilet when you neither speak nor understand a word of Spanish – coming across as embarrassing encounters. Wells feels awkward on her own, yet nor is she at ease in company. It is a struggle to maintain equilibrium. But Wells persists on her quest, and moves towards a better balance. As she relaxes and gets into her stride, she can turn her gaze outwards. There is more texture to her writing, more attention to the ever-changing landscapes and the array of people she meets, from the old woman with whom she shelters from the rain under an awning without exchanging a word, to the many fellow travellers with whom she begins to engage as her confidence and sense of self become more solid. Wells shows herself to be both brave and modest: ‘I am not climbing Everest, or crossing a desert on a camel. I know mine is not an epic journey – but it’s life-changing all the same.’ Yet it is perhaps also an epic journey, from anxious introspection to a stronger appreciation both of herself and of some of the wonderful people who have supported her along the way – not just the ones she meets on her road trip, but also her partner, her children, her father and her friends, who are there to welcome her home. -- Suzy Ceulan Hughes @ www.gwales.com