Do Ask, Do Tell
Queer Life, Love and Culture Laid Bare
Lotte Jeffs author Stu Oakley author
Format:Paperback
Publisher:Pan Macmillan
Publishing:21st May '26
£10.99
This title is due to be published on 21st May, and will be despatched as soon as possible.

What is a black cat lesbian? Is ‘aromantic’ a sexuality or a preference? How are bisexual and pansexual different? What’s it like to be queer and religious? Does Gen Z do darkrooms? How do you navigate life as a OAQ (Old Age Queer)? What does trans euphoria feel like? Why is nightlife so central to the community? What is camp today?
As queer people themselves, authors Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley knew they didn’t have all the answers, because their individual experience represents a single pixel of the rainbow. Do Ask, Do Tell is an unapologetically curious journey through the dazzling spectrum of queer life that will give people – queer, straight, cis and everything in-between – the confidence to say 'I don’t know'.
With humor, warmth, and radically open minds, Stu and Lotte tackle the questions you may have avoided asking for fear of getting it wrong. Covering everything from ageing to open relationships, darkrooms to Drag Kings, camp to carabinas, as well as the intricacies of gender and sexuality.
This insightful and provocative exploration challenges assumptions, shatters taboos, and opens up the conversation. Whether you’re seeking clarity for your cis straight self or deeper insight as a member of the community, this book is your guide to better understanding and celebrating the richness of queer life.
'Bursting with empathy, understanding and humour' – Suzi Ruffell, bestselling author of Am I Having Fun Now?
Written with warmth, wisdom and uncompromising wit, Jeffs & Oakley invite us to explore the bold and beautiful realities of queer existence in an ever-increasingly intolerant world. -- Charlie Condou
Both a beginner’s guide and a deep dive. * Attitude *
This warm, funny read tackles the questions you may have avoided asking for fear of getting it wrong. -- Good Housekeeping
Bold, funny and radically honest. * Gaydio *
Essential reading. An absolute ride through queer culture with some unreal insights. -- Glyn Fussell, founder of Sink the Pink
Bursting with empathy, understanding and humour. A crucial book for our community and allies. -- Suzi Ruffell, bestselling author of Am I Having Fun Now?
ISBN: 9781035042098
Dimensions: unknown
Weight: unknown
272 pages